Dear Female Who Feeds Me

Dear Female who Feeds Me,

I am sorry I ate your red (or were they green? I'm color blind you know) stringy things. I was looking for some dessert and they were just so shiny and smooth, I thought they would go down quite nicely. I hope that I didn't ruin your holiday, it did seem like as soon as I did it that everyone went away. I am very very sorry and to make it up to you I am replacing them for you (not the actual ones- don't worry, the mean lady who hurt my peeper and put this stupid cone on me took care of those). There is also an ornament that I am hoping is just so cute that you'll forget about this little mishap and forgive me.

With love and cold, wet nose rubs,

Sirius

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I have never laughed so hard that I've cried... until I received this letter, along with a treasure trove full of sexy unders, in the mail! Although she plead the 5th on this one, I think Sirius has a guardian angel in Texas who totally saved him from the puppy pound! ;)

Side Note: Sirius got his stitches out and is back to normal! :)